Friday, February 4, 2011
1st paragraph
As Jack drove home from his winter job to his apartment in Boston he got caught in rush hour traffic. Since it was snowing, the sun couldn't penetrate the grey winter clouds that swarmed the sky. Traffic was especially slow due to the snowy weather that has been occurring lately. Traffic seemed to to go from the speed of a snail to a complete stop and seemed to stay that way for 2 hours. Jack turned off the ignition in his car to save gas as was everyone else who was caught in traffic. As Jack waited he noticed that that one by one people behind him left the comfort of their cars and started trekking towards the city but Jack was patient and did not follow suit and waited for the traffic to move once more.
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ReplyDeleteConnor,
ReplyDeletethe first Paragraph is wriitten like its from history-this makes it more real-well done. I also liked howyou used realalisttic features of boston like rush hour traffic, snowy weather.
Q: What is your goal for the stroy and where is Jackgoing and how does this start off the story?
S:watch your punchuation and some spelling errors. also you could tell alittle more about jack
James C